How are you doing?

Know someone who you were cautious about asking the question "How are you doing?".....

I care about how people are doing, how they're feeling, what's new in their life and their plans for their future.  I actually enjoy having long conversations about this and that; about good times and bad times; about mistakes that have been made and the aspirations, dreams & goals to be conquered. I even enjoy talking about a favorite show on TV or a movie that's out.  Let's face it I'm a people person & I love interacting with...guess what? People!

Every now and then we all run into a person (I'm thankful that it's not very often) that no matter the season, month, week, day or hour they're just BLAH! You know what BLAH means right? They just can't seem to shake off the "ho-hum", woe-ways me attitude/mentality.  PEOPLE!!!! Shake it off...it's not cute! lol! Seriously, it really is NOT cute! Don't get me wrong we all get in our moods from time to time and need to vent; and we all should have that awesome friend that is there to lend an ear and kick the ho-hums out of us and lift our spirits! THANK GOD I have more than a handful of great awesome friends....and I'd like to think that I too am that awesome friend right back to them.

Anyway, I found myself having one of those ho-hum people in my life.  One of those, lets call it a TOXIC person.  At first I really liked her, we would chit chat and laugh; a real friendship.  Then during each conversation little by little she would bring up how unlucky she is, or how bad things are and I would do my best to cheer her up and turn her mood around.  Then I found myself talking to her in a way to make her feel that she's not alone by sharing how things aren't so great with me either......BAD!!!! That's not good! Talk about misery loves company.  She totally dragged me into her ho-hum world...and I did it because I didn't want her to feel as if I was throwing my awesome life in her face.  What the HECK is that about????  I mean my life wasn't/isn't grandiose and I do want more out of life but I am thankful and I do love and appreciate my life.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has ever done this? Please!!!! LOL! 

Any-whoooo! I shook that crazy Toxicity off!! I stopped the negativity match.  You know she'd say "my husband/kids/life......." & I would say "you think that's bad, well my ......." CRAZY talk is what that was.  I would try and try to talk positive talk to her.  I would try to have her see the bright side of things and she would say "you don't understand".  Or I would suggest making changes in her life and she would say "I can't because of XYZ........blah, blah, blah".  There was no winning with her.  All I know is that she was draining my joy...she was TOXIC to my life.  I started avoiding her calls (thank goodness for caller ID).  She got hip to the caller ID thingy so she would call and block her number, GRRRR! Obviously she must have been aware that she was being avoided.  I didn't want to cut her out completely because I felt bad for her.  I felt she needed somebody. She would tell me she didn't have any friends (which I now know why), and how everyone left her or did her wrong. Nobody did her wrong, they just got tired....they went into hiding, ran for the hills.  Sorry, I'm sounding like a mean girl.  Trust me I'm not a mean girl, at all.  I couldn't just drop her, my conscious wouldn't let me; I just knew I could DETOXIFY her, shine some light on her, wake her up from her nightmare.  I would hear the phone ring, see "unknown" on the caller ID and contemplate on picking up the phone or not.  I had to be in a really, really, really good mood in to pick up the phone and I had to have time to kill (because it was going to be a long call, a long exhausting call).  The better the mood the stronger I felt going into the call, like "OK, she cannot drag me down today....I will encourage and lift her spirits".  After some time of seeing & hearing this TOXIC person I realized she was just not going to change.  She enjoyed being the victim.  I FAILED, I couldn't turn her frown upside down.  But I sure as heck was not going to stay on that toxic path.  I had to remove the TOXICITY from my life.  I distanced myself and she eventually stopped calling, after of course telling me I wasn't a good friend and a whole lot of other non-sense.  Boo-Hoo! (tear)....Sorry, that wasn't very nice.  I do pray she is well and finds happiness (seriously I do, but from a distance).

So, I said all that to say that its OK to vent just don't lose HOPE; don't lose the cheer in your voice, the pep in your step, the JOY in your life....because when you lose those things, you lose friends (and even family); and worse yet you lose yourself.  

Feeling BLAH! and want to feel more like this?  Lose the TOXIC in YOU

The next time someone ask you "How are you doing?" remember its OK to really say how you're doing but don't drag it on, don't live in it, don't lose HOPE, don't lose your JOY!  Be HAPPY!!!! End your call, your visits, your days with a smile and a feeling of gratitude because we have soooo much to be thankful for.  I know I do!

Be HAPPY like that! (FYI: that's me in the pink bloomers) 

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To My Friends: I want to apologize for staying away at times; its because I don't want to be TOXIC to you and sometimes I just want to get past whatever grey cloud is lingering over me.  I know you're there for me and I appreciate & LOVE you all; but sometimes...well, sometimes I feel like I just don't want to bring you down.  When I'm down 'my misery doesn't love company'....I give it to God and pray it away.  

Don't be toxic to others & definitely don't be toxic to yourself. 

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Psalm 71:14

English Standard Version (ESV)

But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more.