How are you doing?

Know someone who you were cautious about asking the question "How are you doing?".....

I care about how people are doing, how they're feeling, what's new in their life and their plans for their future.  I actually enjoy having long conversations about this and that; about good times and bad times; about mistakes that have been made and the aspirations, dreams & goals to be conquered. I even enjoy talking about a favorite show on TV or a movie that's out.  Let's face it I'm a people person & I love interacting with...guess what? People!

Every now and then we all run into a person (I'm thankful that it's not very often) that no matter the season, month, week, day or hour they're just BLAH! You know what BLAH means right? They just can't seem to shake off the "ho-hum", woe-ways me attitude/mentality.  PEOPLE!!!! Shake it off...it's not cute! lol! Seriously, it really is NOT cute! Don't get me wrong we all get in our moods from time to time and need to vent; and we all should have that awesome friend that is there to lend an ear and kick the ho-hums out of us and lift our spirits! THANK GOD I have more than a handful of great awesome friends....and I'd like to think that I too am that awesome friend right back to them.

Anyway, I found myself having one of those ho-hum people in my life.  One of those, lets call it a TOXIC person.  At first I really liked her, we would chit chat and laugh; a real friendship.  Then during each conversation little by little she would bring up how unlucky she is, or how bad things are and I would do my best to cheer her up and turn her mood around.  Then I found myself talking to her in a way to make her feel that she's not alone by sharing how things aren't so great with me either......BAD!!!! That's not good! Talk about misery loves company.  She totally dragged me into her ho-hum world...and I did it because I didn't want her to feel as if I was throwing my awesome life in her face.  What the HECK is that about????  I mean my life wasn't/isn't grandiose and I do want more out of life but I am thankful and I do love and appreciate my life.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has ever done this? Please!!!! LOL! 

Any-whoooo! I shook that crazy Toxicity off!! I stopped the negativity match.  You know she'd say "my husband/kids/life......." & I would say "you think that's bad, well my ......." CRAZY talk is what that was.  I would try and try to talk positive talk to her.  I would try to have her see the bright side of things and she would say "you don't understand".  Or I would suggest making changes in her life and she would say "I can't because of XYZ........blah, blah, blah".  There was no winning with her.  All I know is that she was draining my joy...she was TOXIC to my life.  I started avoiding her calls (thank goodness for caller ID).  She got hip to the caller ID thingy so she would call and block her number, GRRRR! Obviously she must have been aware that she was being avoided.  I didn't want to cut her out completely because I felt bad for her.  I felt she needed somebody. She would tell me she didn't have any friends (which I now know why), and how everyone left her or did her wrong. Nobody did her wrong, they just got tired....they went into hiding, ran for the hills.  Sorry, I'm sounding like a mean girl.  Trust me I'm not a mean girl, at all.  I couldn't just drop her, my conscious wouldn't let me; I just knew I could DETOXIFY her, shine some light on her, wake her up from her nightmare.  I would hear the phone ring, see "unknown" on the caller ID and contemplate on picking up the phone or not.  I had to be in a really, really, really good mood in to pick up the phone and I had to have time to kill (because it was going to be a long call, a long exhausting call).  The better the mood the stronger I felt going into the call, like "OK, she cannot drag me down today....I will encourage and lift her spirits".  After some time of seeing & hearing this TOXIC person I realized she was just not going to change.  She enjoyed being the victim.  I FAILED, I couldn't turn her frown upside down.  But I sure as heck was not going to stay on that toxic path.  I had to remove the TOXICITY from my life.  I distanced myself and she eventually stopped calling, after of course telling me I wasn't a good friend and a whole lot of other non-sense.  Boo-Hoo! (tear)....Sorry, that wasn't very nice.  I do pray she is well and finds happiness (seriously I do, but from a distance).

So, I said all that to say that its OK to vent just don't lose HOPE; don't lose the cheer in your voice, the pep in your step, the JOY in your life....because when you lose those things, you lose friends (and even family); and worse yet you lose yourself.  

Feeling BLAH! and want to feel more like this?  Lose the TOXIC in YOU

The next time someone ask you "How are you doing?" remember its OK to really say how you're doing but don't drag it on, don't live in it, don't lose HOPE, don't lose your JOY!  Be HAPPY!!!! End your call, your visits, your days with a smile and a feeling of gratitude because we have soooo much to be thankful for.  I know I do!

Be HAPPY like that! (FYI: that's me in the pink bloomers) 

<---------------- ;-)

To My Friends: I want to apologize for staying away at times; its because I don't want to be TOXIC to you and sometimes I just want to get past whatever grey cloud is lingering over me.  I know you're there for me and I appreciate & LOVE you all; but sometimes...well, sometimes I feel like I just don't want to bring you down.  When I'm down 'my misery doesn't love company'....I give it to God and pray it away.  

Don't be toxic to others & definitely don't be toxic to yourself. 

_____________________________________________________________

Psalm 71:14

English Standard Version (ESV)

But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more.

This Year I WILL......

Toxic Free YOU (Mind, Body, Soul)...starts from within

Yesterday (Feb. 17th) was my birthday; I was happy and sad at the same time. Happy for all the love I got from friends, family and "friends" from all the social networks.  But sad because I didn't get to spend it with MY family.....I truly do appreciate the people in my life old and new & I WILL continue to count my blessings for having them in my life.

Today I would like to address "WILL" the will to do things, the "WILL" to want and go out and get it. I want certain things in life but my problem is accepting help.  I need to "get out of my own way" and realize that just "Willing" something does NOT make it just happen.  I need to realize that doing things by myself isn't the way to go.  I do it to myself so often, I don't accept help and end up hitting obstacles that I just can't do solo but instead of reaching out for help I turn around and give up or tire myself out trying to do something that obviously is impossible to do alone.  I need to learn to receive blessings, accept, enjoy and embrace those blessings.

Ever feel like giving is just so much easier? 

I don't believe I'm alone on this (at least I hope I'm not alone).

I like helping and giving to others.  I really love the feeling of making someone else happy.  I don't have much to offer but when I can & I see that my contribution helped bring joy, comfort, a moment of ease to someone it makes me so happy! I'm content with a simple Thank you or a hug...that's all (I'm a hugger).  Or sometimes if its done anonymously, a smile & thanking God, is awesome!  I don't expect anything in return, I would actually feel funny taking something afterward.  So I'm trying to train myself to accept help from others believing that they too do it because they can & it feels right; with no strings attached.  I don't normally accept help because I always have, in the back of my mind, the thought "how am I going to repay them".  So I walk around life not accepting help, not accepting blessings that God is throwing my way.  I pray for answers and ways to get certain things done and when it shows up I say "I'm good, thank you".  I really need to realize that just as God uses me to help others, God uses others to help me.

I'm like the man in this joke (not my joke, I personally don't know who's joke it is):

There was a flood coming and a car came and asked this man if he needed a ride to a safe place. He said, " No, God will send my help." It rained some more 'till it was up to his porch, a small boat came by and they asked, "would you like a ride to a safer place?" The man answered, "No, my God will send help." The rain kept coming by this time the man was up on his roof. A helicopter came by and asked do you need some help? The man answered again, "No, my God will send my help." 

The rain kept coming, the man drowned, died and went to heaven, when he got there he asked God, "Father, why didn't you send me help?" God replied, "I sent you a car, a boat and a helicopter!

Goodness, such a shame....this is me, once again being toxic to myself.  LOL! No More! I WILL open my eyes, put my pride aside and accept help from others.  How dare I not allow people to feel joy for helping me out (lol)...the nerve of me.

This morning as I read my Bible App (YouVersion); Bible Plan "The Legacy Journey"....it said:

1) *Dr. Billy Graham once said, "God gives us two hands: one to receive with and one to give with." On The Legacy Journey, both hands need to stay open.

2) "We are blessed to bless others, too."

It's a beautiful cycle.  Paying it forward so to speak.  

So with that said 

I WILL embrace the blessings that come my way.  

I WILL continue to help those around me

I WILL continue to Thank God for all I am & all I have

I WILL open the door when opportunity knocks

I WILL blow the dust off my dreams & breath new life into them
I WILL have hope
I WILL not be toxic to myself or others

AND I WILL keep you all posted along my journey

I WILL, I WILL

I WILL .....

What WILL you do?

*****
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,"
declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."

Get out of your own way!

*deep breath....here goes my first blog post...on my Grandmother's 84th Birthday, hope I don't disappoint her. If its all over the place, please forgive me....Looking forward to hearing from you! :-)

We're a little over a month into the new year and I have to say I'm off to a good start.
Over the holidays (starting around Thanksgiving) I thought to myself what can I do to change things.  Things, anything....I was content with my life but I don't believe I was totally happy.  Although, I couldn't pin it down to just one thing.  All things in my life were/are "OK" but I don't want to settle with just OK I want Great! I want Super! I want Better! I want change.

How can I accomplish that change? I looked in the mirror and examined myself.  I had to learn to get out of my own way.  I realized I was Toxic to myself. Toxic by not being open to new things.  Toxic by just going through the everyday motions without even thinking about it.  Toxic in becoming angry or upset over things that obviously were out of my control and that weren't going to change.....so why be upset over it right? Right! So time to move on from situations, things, people and places that I have no control over.  Not that I want to control everything (working on that too...lol!).

So I started changing little things about how I do things, says things, respond to things (baby steps, I'm human and for the most part I really do Love myself so don't want to change "who I am" just what I do & how I do them).  Hope that makes sense :-)

I do more reading and am open to doing more learning. Taking classes here and there.  Taking notes, mental and written.  Going out more.  Saying YES! and following through more (you know not talking myself out of plans).  You see before I would want to do more things and go out more but I would not; I would limit myself based on those circumstances I have no control over that got me upset and ruin my mood.  It would domino into me not going anywhere, doing anything and hence growing my anger more because I didn't do anything....BLAH! :-P

I have my own business that I've been running for over 15 years (9 of those years full time).  I use to love what I do, really-really love. But through the years, somewhere along the way I've lost my passion.  It's just work now.  Work is good but I don't function that way.  I love being happy (I'm sure most people do to), I love working where it doesn't feel like work (again, I'm sure many feel that way)...I've been blessed to have that in my life.  I don't know where things changed.

I'm not giving up my business (can't do it...kind of attached).  But I have ventured into something new! (I'll tell you about that at a later date). Something out of my comfort zone! Something challenging! Time to WAKE UP! I was introduced to this new business venture based on a conversation I had about wanting to change, my new exercise plans, my new eating habits and about taking better care of my health (I'm pretty healthy and I want to keep it that way, so I've been cautious about what I put in my body & on my body...but we'll discuss that another time).

This happened around December 1st and I believe God had his hands in it all.  I've been putting it out there through prayer.  I've been talking to God about guiding me, showing me, talking to me about my path.  And this is what presented itself....it's a different kind of way of life and doing business for me but I really truly feel its the right path for me.

Step ONE in becoming a Toxic Free YOU: Get out of your own way!  
Step TWO: Be OPEN to change....with God by your side all things are possible! 
Step THREE: Have FAITH!!! ...in God & in yourself! 

Blissfully Blessed!
Gloria Martinez

**

I am the Lord your God who grasps your strong hand, who says to you, Don't fear; I will help you.

Isaiah 41: 13